Originally written in 2005, this poem illustrates an emotionally abuse relationship that I endured for years. As I've aged, become more confident, learned more about myself, and met other women of various backgrounds with similar stories, I am reminded that none of us are immune from the possibility of being in situations where we one day look up and ask "how did I get here?". Allow me to encourage you today, and tell you like I have to affirm to myself daily, that I AM a good woman, and so are you! Let's be stronger together. Be blessed, Dr. S
I`m a Good Woman and I was in an abusive relationship
Not the kind with fists and punching, that requires a hospital trip
But the kind that`s emotional and insidious, with lies and crafty manipulation
The type that starts casually but eventually becomes his occupation
As he worked at breaking me down to the smallest part of my being
He caused me to become the insecure woman you are now seeing
However this poem is my opportunity to tell you the real deal
To finally get some things off my chest and speak on how I feel
Lots of us Good Women have been getting our feelings hurt
By men who supposedly love us, all the while throwing dirt
Words that can lead to low self-esteem and doubt
We`ve been walking around with a smile but it`s time to let it out
To tell all you men that your words leave wounds so deep
It feels like you`re beating us, and we just keep
On taking it because we think you`re the one
But God has shown me to stop being so dumb
`Cause blessings and curses shouldn`t flow from the same mouth
But every lie you speak has been so well thought out
It feels like a dagger going deep within my soul
Your attempt to kill my spirit and to make a new mold
To stamp out the glorious body I`m already in
To fulfill some fantasy you have from when you were 10
The cycle of abuse begins with the "Baby, I love you" and kisses placed just right
They were always the ultimate set up for the eventual fight
"Why can`t you be taller, more full-figured, have a better attitude?
Don`t you know I will love you only when I`m pleased with you?"
The constant barrage of insults cut like whips from an iron rod
The accusations of inferiority - man I still have scars!
Your tongue was made of wooden spikes, every verbal lashing left its mark
God, I`m still pulling out splinters, left in my heart
"I`ll never be good enough for you," I screamed but it always seemed to fall on deaf ears
My anguish, unbearable; the fear, undeniable; all blended with my tears
It was almost enough to make this Good Woman stop being
To stop believing in herself and her real reason for living
But I know I`m a Good Woman and I`m not taking it any longer
I`ve been reading God`s Word and I`ve grown a lot stronger
So with my chest pushed out and my eyes open wide
I got my hand on one hip and God on my side
Ready to tell you the truth about what`s really going on
Because this abusive relationship has been going on too long
"You`re the one with issues, always complaining about somebody else
Take a look in the undarkened mirror and you`ll see that you need some help
Because ain`t none perfect but Jesus, though I know that`s news to you
Let Him be your yardstick and maybe you`ll get through
Some of those issues that have you thoroughly bound
Perhaps you`ll see you still have two feet on the ground
Because you ain`t no angel; you have drama too
So stop focusing on my issues and start focusing on you!"
I was a Good Woman, battered and bruised
Now I`m a Great Woman, since I got rid of you.
4/7/05