"Not Your Typical Love Story" part 2: The One that Got Away

Welcome back!  We left off with me being a stubborn goat, and let me tell you: that did NOT work out well at all!! The short version is the red flags that I initially ignored came back to cover me in an icky cloak of foolishness and regret.  Needless to say, that relationship didn't last, and within fewer than two years of marriage (three if you count the year-long divorce proceedings), I became a single mother.  And given all that had happened in a relatively short amount of time, I was pretty content in that role of new mother.  I decided, in part because of having a small child, maybe a serious relationship should not be a focus for a minute.  All was well... so let's fast forward four years to the end of 2014 when I encountered someone new.  Now, I wasn't looking to meet anyone new.  Well honestly, since I’m being transparent, that's kinda not entirely really true lol.  You know how you do when you're single (or maybe it’s just me), where every single man (or woman if I have some guys reading this, I don’t want you to feel left out) was a “possible” like in a hand of spades?!  However, I wasn't really actively pursuing anyone if that makes any sense.  So completely out of nowhere, and not at all in the way that I would have expected, a single educated black man expressed interest in me.  Ok Jesus!, I thought lol.  He expressed interest in my God, my church, my life, my son.  He didn't appear to be intimidated by my accomplishments at all, but instead seemed in awe and genuinely impressed with my credentials.  For all intents and purposes, he represented the embodiment of a great catch, and for that, I was cautiously excited.  Humbled actually, that God had even heard my faintest cry. We dated for a few whirlwind months...Lord! Did I learn nothing from my first mistake, I’m asking myself now that I'm sharing this???  Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), as time pressed on, I came to the realization that he wasn't quite as interested in my lifestyle as he had originally professed or as I had hopefully believed.  See here's the thing, remember before when I said I previously wanted to be a stubborn goat?  Well now I was willing to be a less-stubborn goat but not fully a sheep (help me Jesus smh).  I didn't want to do it my way because I knew from experience that that wouldn't work BUT I still wanted to have some say so.  And guess what?  It doesn't work like that because, how many of you know that "partial obedience is STILL disobedience"!?  So despite his proclaimed interest in me that even eventually led to a lackluster marriage proposal and equally muted acceptance, I ultimately chose to allow him to be the one that got away.  I mean, hey, God knows best right?  Stay tuned next week for part 3...

Be blessed, Dr. S

Recent Posts

See All

How many of you have ever heard that being friends with women is hard? Ever been on the receiving end of having a homegirl that was just difficult to deal with? Or are you one of the “hard” women th

If you’ve been reading this blog series, you may be wondering if I was ever satisfied with anything about myself! I know right... it’s exhausting to think that nothing is right with you; that everyth

Growing up I was always trying to figure out my body, what I liked, what I didn’t like, who I wanted to look like or did I want to be different. In all honesty, as a pre-adolescent, I wanted to have